Big Time Oneshot: Better Left Unsaid
by RomioneAlways51
Summary: He loved him, he really did, he wanted nothing more than to have him feel the same way, to hold him in his arms, caress his cheeks, to feel his lips on his own... but he never said anything, he kept it all locked up inside; it was just better that way. Guy/guy, don't like don't read


**A/N: So I may have read one too many bromance fics, and may be just all over the idea of unrequited love, so enjoy this story, I hope it's up to par with some of the other amazing ones I've read.**  
**P.S Once again, this is guy/guy, if you couldn't see from the summary, so if you're not a fan, then I'm afraid you might not enjoy this story.** **P.P.S I'm sorry about posting another oneshot in stead of Big Time Accident, I'm stuck again :(**

Unrequited love, the worst kind; the kind that makes you want to tear your hair out, to hide away from the world because simply existing around that person is just too painful, the kind that makes you want to jump off a cliff and end it all because you just can't take it anymore, because the pain that comes with knowing that they'll never love you back is just too much.

That was how Carlos was feeling right now, he felt the pressure building up inside of him, the words of Kendall, Logan and James being drowned out by the ringing in his ears. James... just the though of him made Carlos' heart skip a beat, made his throat dry and his hands start to sweat...  
"What do you think, Carlos?" a voice, Kendall's, drew the Latino out of his thoughts, and he looked over to his friends.

"What?" he asked, and James raised an eyebrow.

"I was asking you guys where you think I should take the new girl Amy on our first date tomorrow night?" the pretty boy asked Carlos, and the younger boy's heart sunk as he felt jealous tears pricking in the backs of his eyes,

"I don't know James," he said shortly "but you're amazing with girls, I'm sure you'll figure it out!" and with that, he got up from his place on the couch and stormed off to his and James' shared bedroom, slamming the door behind him before flopping down onto his bed, finally letting all the tears he'd kept bottled up spill out, his small shoulders shaking with his sobs. He knew he'd probably overreacted, but love made you do crazy things right? Yes, it was true, Carlos Garcia was in love with his best friend, James Diamond.

He and James had always been close, but it wasn't until they'd moved to LA that Carlos realized just how close he actually felt to James. He never really gave much though to James in middle school in Minnesota; he was just another one of his best buds who cared a little too much about his hair, but once James began chasing his dream of being a pop star, Carlos began to see the determined, passionate side of him, the side that his three best friends only ever saw, and he became in awe of James' drive to pursue his dream. He also saw the insecure side of James, the side that he only allowed Carlos to see; when the band was cancelled before their first tour, Carlos remembered holding James tight as the pretty boy cried and cried over his dreams being crushed. It was the fact that James let him in at such a difficult time that made Carlos realize that guys don't cry on other guys' shoulders.

Subconsciously, Carlos began to let let James in too; every time a girl would break his heart, or every time one of his plans went totally astray, he would go to James, and James would hold him in his arms, ignoring the tear stains Carlos constantly left on his shirt, and stroke the smaller boy's hair until he either felt better or cried himself to sleep. Those were the best times, when Carlos would wake up in James' embrace after crying all night; sure, he'd have red and blotchy eyes, and he'd have to reluctantly find his way out of James' grasp so that the taller boy didn't wake up and freak out, but when he woke up with those long, tan arms wrapped around him, and he inhaled the euphoric scent that was James, a genuinely blissful smile crossed his face; he felt like he belonged there, in James' arms. Trouble was, James would never think so.

Ever since the guys were old enough to be more interested in girls than toy guns or swords, James had always had no trouble scoring himself a date, and Kendall and Logan always looked to him for girl advice. Carlos, however, had tried and tried, determined to win someone over on his own, rather than with one of James' skinny jeans and Cuda massive hold makeovers, but after being shot down at least 5 times in a week, he went to James for help. Things didn't improve with girls when he moved with the guys to LA, and once Carlos had begun to feel that connection with James, it all made sense; he was gay, he had no interest in chasing after girls, and he preferred the times when Logan and Kendall went out on double dates and he and James were sitting in 2J watching a movie. Carlos wondered why he'd never seen it before, and why the other guys never said anything; he still went out on girl escapades with the guys, so as not to arouse suspicion, but he was still unsuccessful, not that he cared; if he gave off some vibe that meant no girl ever wanted to go out with him, so be it, he didn't want them anyway, all he wanted was James. James...

Carlos sighed as he wiped some more tears from his eyes, James was most certainly not gay, and no girl ever rejected him! With a face like that, who in their right mind would reject James Diamond? Carlos sighed, rolling over onto his back, images of James floating through his mind; his laugh rang in Carlos' ears, that contagious laugh that meant Carlos couldn't help but join in, his long arms, wrapping dream-Carlos in a protective embrace as he used light touches to wipe the tears from his eyes, his toned, hard chest that felt so comfortable as dream-Carlos leaned his head against it, listening to James' heartbeat. Suddenly, dream-Carlos felt a finger tilt his chin upward, and his eyes met with the seemingly endless hazel ones gazing down at him, dream-Carlos felt himself getting lost in James' eyes as he scanned the rest of the pretty boy's face, and his hair that seemed so light to the touch; dream-Carlos wanted nothing more than to run his hands through it. James have a small chuckle, sending small shivers up dream-Carlos' spine as the heavenly sound reached his ears. He looked back to James' face to see that he was smiling, that incredible smile that made dream-Carlos' heart pinwheel even though he'd seen it so many times before, and it still managed to take his breath away. James' expression changed then; his eyes glittered, almost pleadingly, and his mouth dropped down to almost being closed, his lips nearly touching. James scanned dream-Carlos' face before cupping a hand to his cheek and leaning down. Dream-Carlos' heart felt like it was about to pound out of his chest as he stood on his toes to get closer to James. Everything seemed to move in slow motion, their lips were almost touching as-

"Carlos?" the smaller boy woke up with a start, his eyes flicking to James, who had just entered the darkened room, and he scrambled to get under his covers as James turned and shut the door behind him "Are you awake?" Carlos bit his lip to stop himself from calling out in reply, and he didn't allow the tears to fall until he heard the light snores that told him James was well and truly asleep.

* * *

The next morning, Carlos stole a cautious glance in the direction of James' bed before getting up, double checking the hallway before he made his way over to the swirly slide,  
"Who are you hiding from?" Kendall asked, startling Carlos, who cried out, leapt in fright, hitting his head on the roof of the slide before losing his footing and sliding down, landing with a thud on the ground.  
"Dude!" he said, getting up and watching Kendall slide gracefully down to meet him "don't do that! You scared me!"  
"Sorry," Kendall smirked "but who are you hiding from?"  
"If you must know," Carlos said irritably, and he was met with a look that said 'I must' "I'm hiding from James,"  
"Why?" Kendall drew out the question, looking slightly over Carlos' shoulder as he spoke.  
"Because," Carlos stepped to the side, blocking Kendall's view of whatever he was looking at and capturing his attention "things are just complicated right now," he sighed, turning to walk to the kitchen, almost walking into James, who flashed him an irresistible smile, and Carlos sidestepped him warily, not looking up from his feet as he walked out of the apartment.  
"Complicated?" James asked Kendall, who shrugged, stumped.  
Carlos made it out to the pool and grabbed himself a corn dog before anyone bothered him, and so he looked up from his beloved snack, which he had hardly eaten, when a voice spoke,  
"Carlos Garcia not inhaling a corn dog? Something must really be wrong," Katie said, dropping down beside him on his deck chair. Carlos sighed and dumped his food in the nearest bin before turning to Katie. "What's the matter?" she asked, her eyes bearing into Carlos' as he tried to look away.  
"Nothing," the older boy mumbled, knowing it wouldn't satisfy her.  
"Carlos," Katie raised her eyebrow, a habit she'd leaned from her big brother, and one that Carlos found it very hard to ignore.  
"Katie," Carlos said, a stern edge in his voice. Unfortunately, Katie didn't take any of the boys seriously; she had seen them all get stuck in the swirly slide at the same time, after all, and she certainly wasn't afraid of Carlos trying to be intimidating; he was too nice. Katie let out the smallest of giggles, and Carlos heaved a great sigh, "Fine, I'm not gonna be mean, but just drop it, OK? I can handle it by myself,"

"Fine," Katie groaned "see ya," she got up and made her way out of the pool area.

Carlos blew out a breath as she left; that was close! If anyone could uncover his secret, it was Katie Knight. Carlos would have to add her to his list of people to avoid. Speaking of people he had to avoid... Carlos let out a gasp as a certain tall and handsome figure made his way into the pool area, and the younger boy sprung from his seat, dashing into the nearest cabana and peaking out behind the blue cloth to see that James had grabbed himself a pink smoothie, removed his shirt, and was now tanning on a deck chair on the other side of the pool. Carlos couldn't help but let his eyes travel to James' chest, and the Latino boy's heart began to beat faster as his eyes travelled down to James' abdomen, his tight muscles under his perfectly golden skin... Carlos ducked his head back into the cabana at that moment; he could have sworn he'd seen the bush behind James' deck chair wobble.

* * *

Katie gasped and placed a hand over her mouth as she ducked back behind her bush, holding her tree hat in place as it wobbled on her head; Carlos was staring at James! Who wouldn't stare at James - not that she had a crush on him, because she didn't! - but he _was_ gorgeous. This was Carlos, who was staring at him though, _Carlos! _They were best friends! They were both guys! It wasn't like he was some girl fawning over James for the first time- but he was! Katie narrowed her eyes as she watched Carlos peeking out from behind the cabana; he was actually staring at James, with that look in his eyes that Kendall always gave Jo, that look as if- Katie drew back again, sitting behind the bush and trying to take in what she'd just seen; Carlos was in love with James!  
"Katie!" James cried in alarm, spotting the smaller girl as he reached for his smoothie "what are you doing here, watching-" he looked over to see a familiar face poking out of the cabana on the opposite side of the pool, and turned back to Katie "Carlos?" he asked, confused "Why are you spying on Carlos? I thought you had a crush on me?" Katie groaned.  
"James! I don't, or have I ever, had a crush on you,_ or_ Carlos!" she indicated the Latino boy, who was sneaking out of the cabana and running into the lobby, before she got up, removed her tree hat and stormed off,  
"So it's Logan then?" James called out before turning back to his magazine.

Carlos flung himself inside of apartment 2J, dashing straight past a bemused Logan and Kendall, and into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it, breathing heavily; Katie saw him! That would mean she knew how he felt! Carlos took in a breath before opening the door ever so slightly and stepping out into hallway and slowly into the living room. His eyes widened, however, as he spotted James walking through the front door,  
"Hey Carlos, can I talk to you-?"  
"Sorry James!" Carlos said, slipping past the taller boy and out the front door "Gotta go!" Carlos dashed into the elevator, jabbing the lobby button and flinging himself out into the pool area once he reached it. He spotted Katie by the door, buying a lemonade, and he grabbed her arm as he walked past, yanking her into the nearest cabana.  
"Carlos!" she scolded once the two were alone "You made me spill my lemonade!" she slammed the cup down on the coffee table beside them and glared at him.  
"What do you know?" Carlos asked, ignoring her protests. Katie, catching on, raised an eyebrow.  
"What do you mean, what do I know? I know lots of things," Katie said teasingly "that all depends on what you wanna know that I know,"  
"Wait, what?" Carlos asked, and Katie rolled her eyes.  
"If you're talking about the way you looked at James today, then yes, I know,"  
"Katie, you gotta promise me you won't tell anyone, especially James, I-" Katie held up a finger to stop the Latino boy's rambling.  
"I won't tell, on one condition,"  
"What?" Carlos groaned, knowing she'd ask for something ridiculous.  
"You really do love James?" she asked, and he was taken aback at the almost pleading tone in her question.  
"Yes," he nodded "more than anything,"  
"So this isn't just some passing phase?" Katie asked.  
"No," Carlos said genuinely, shaking his head.  
"OK then," Katie smiled "I won't tell, but you should." Carlos smiled sadly in return.  
"I would if I could," he told her.  
"Why can't you?" Katie asked.  
"Because, it's complicated-"  
"How?" Katie interrupted, and Carlos sighed.  
"Because it's not right, guys aren't supposed to love other guys like this," he said sadly "people hate people like me, I mean, what if James hates me too?"  
"James isn't homophobic, Carlos," Katie said, and Carlos gave a small smile; Katie Knight knew way too much for her own good "neither is my mom, or Kendall, or Logan, or me! You'll always be the same old Carlos to us, I can tell, but you won't know unless you try,"  
"If only it was that easy Katie," Carlos sighed.  
"It can be," Katie pressed "you're just over-thinking it!" Carlos gave her a small smile and made to walk away "Carlos?" the younger girl caught his attention again "You owe me a lemonade." the helmet wearing boy smiled and pulled out a 5 dollar note from his wallet and handed it to her before heading out of the cabana and up to his room.

Carlos awkwardly sidestepped a confused James on his way out of the elevator, mumbling something about having homework, before making his way up to his room and beginning to pace; Katie wasn't right, was she? No way! It was better if Carlos didn't say anything, easier if James didn't know, right? James was as straight as a line, there was no point in Carlos burdening him with his stupid feelings, right? What would happen if he did? What if he told James? Carlos' mind slowly began to wander as he closed his eyes...

_James knocked gently on the bedroom door to let Carlos know he was there before entering the room, seeing the smaller Latino boy sitting on his bed, knees pulled up to his chest as he sniffled quietly.  
"Carlos?" James asked "Carlos, what's the matter, man?" the taller boy sat down beside the shorter and wrapped his arms around his shoulder. Carlos relaxed slightly into James' touch, and looked up into his face.  
"James, can I tell you something?" he asked, and James smiled.  
"Dude, you can tell me anything, you know that,"  
"Really? It's kinda personal..." Carlos' voice trailed off.  
"Carlos, we're best friends, I don't mind if you tell me personal stuff, if it makes you stop feeling down,"  
"OK," Carlos took a deep breath and blew it out again "James, I- I'm gay," no sooner had the words left Carlos' mouth did James remove his arm from his shoulder and stand up.  
"Are you sure?" James asked, eyeing Carlos warily.  
"This isn't something I can be unsure about!" Carlos cried, hurt at James' reaction. "James, I'm still the same person, I just-"  
"You like guys," something in the way James spat the end of Carlos' sentence made the smaller boy's stomach convulse, and he gazed up into James' cold glare with pleading eyes.  
"You don't accept me," he said in a small voice, and James shook his head.  
"Look, Carlos- we're still friends and all but I- I can't be around you right now," and he turned to leave Carlos crying on the bed._

"Carlos?" a familiar voice jerked him out of his nightmare, and he looked up to see James sitting on the bed, watching him warily. "Are you OK?" Carlos looked to the clock beside him, jealousy burning inside him as he read the time; 6.30.  
"Shouldn't you be on your date with Amy?" Carlos asked, a slight edge in his voice that James overlooked.  
"Nah," James said "she's desperate, she'll wait." he suddenly turned serious "Besides, my best friend is upset, and that's more important," any jealousy or anger that Carlos felt towards James was gone at those words, and he broke down, sniffling and blinking the tears from his eyes. "Carlos," James said somewhat sternly "what's the matter?"  
"Nothing," the smaller boy looked away.  
"You've been avoiding me all day, is it something I did?" James asked, and Carlos looked into those pleading hazel eyes, bringing more tears to his own.  
"No, it's- it's my fault," Carlos responded in a small voice.  
"What did you do?"  
"It's not what I did, it's-" Carlos sighed.  
"Look, whatever it is, you can't keep it bottled up," James told him "it's not good for you. I know I'm not a doctor like Logan, but even I know that it's not good to keep your feelings locked up inside,"  
"These feelings have to be locked up," Carlos protested "they're not right!"  
"No one can tell you if your feelings are right or wrong, Carlos," James said gently "if you feel them strong enough, then you should at least tell someone and I-they can help you work it out." he finished lamely.  
"You want me to tell you?" Carlos asked, looking up at James.  
"Only if you want to," the taller boy responded.  
"But you won't get it," Carlos cried in exasperation, allowing his arms to flail about in his anger "you don't have this stupid problem!" James watched Carlos as he ranted before grabbing his flailing arms and holding them to his sides as Carlos gazed up at his face, the tears he'd kept in finally spilling out as James gently hushed him.

"Shh, Carlos," he said soothingly, running his hands up and down Carlos' forearms in a hope to calm him "it's OK, just let it out, now what's so bad that its making you freak out like this?" there was a moment of silence as Carlos took in a shaky breath,  
"I love you, OK?" he got out, avoiding the other boy's eyes.  
"Carlos-" James breathed after a moment, only to have Carlos heave a great sigh and begin to ramble over the top of him,  
"Go ahead and say it, OK? I'm stupid for loving you, because you're straight, and I'm gay. Yeah, James, I'm gay OK? Go ahead and tease me, but I can't do anything about it, I can't change how much I love you, I can't-" Carlos' rambling was cut off, however, as he felt a pair of warm lips on his own and a tingle run down his spine; while analytical and knowledgeable Logan didn't believe in such cliches, Carlos knew that he felt sparks fly as James' lips moved against his, ever so gently, and he began to kiss back. He just couldn't believe that James Diamond was kissing him, it was so much better than he'd dreamed it would be! James was passionate, but gentle and loving, all at the same time, and Carlos couldn't help but let out the smallest of gasps as James' warm hand cupped his cheek, gently caressing his skin. Air became an issue at that point, and the two reluctantly pulled apart, Carlos breathless and James with a dopey smile on his face.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," James smiled, looking Carlos directly in the eyes "I love you too, Carlos,"  
"What?" the smaller boy asked disbelievingly, and James gave the smallest of chuckles before grabbing the front of Carlos' shirt and pulling him to his chest, capturing his lips in a chaste but loving kiss before his phone rang in his pocket. James reluctantly pulled the device out, checking the caller ID before hanging up and tossing it aside.  
"Who was that?" Carlos asked, still breathless.  
"Just Amy," James smirked.  
"Shouldn't you be going to your date? Or is it over?" James gave another gorgeous smile, kissing Carlos' cheek before pulling back slightly, their faces almost touching as he said,  
"She'll get the message,"

**A/N: Aww! I really love this for some reason :) by the way, I don't agree with Carlos' perception of what people will think of him being gay, that's awful, and it's even more awful that some people do think that way, sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone. This is also WAY too long, sorry about that!  
Anyway, leave a review if you want, if its ok :)**


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